the jaz cast

[Walks_At_Night]

Thanks to you Jaz I'm no longer a man. I had a rough morning at the older ladies place the other day thanks to your advice. I made it through the fundraiser like a little bitch. The scene I made did me no good.

Damn do I hate I missed 99% of that show......  What did that maniac tell you to do?

[akwilly]

Damn do I hate I missed 99% of that show......  What did that maniac tell you to do?

basically he advised I go to her place at 5 or 6 am in a drunken stuper.

[akwilly]

Which I did

[akwilly]

Sunday was when I should have been with the eyeball challenged girl. It didn't go well. The older lady knew she had me by the balls and sort of humiliated me

[Walks_At_Night]

basically he advised I go to her place at 5 or 6 am in a drunken stuper.

Frickin' Digger. I'm sure that went well - not.

So what is the lay of the land?  Is the old bird well off?   What's the objective here?

[akwilly]

Frickin' Digger. I'm sure that went well - not.

So what is the lay of the land?  Is the old bird well off?   What's the objective here?

it is very hard to explain but basically I had sex with the older lady because she always looked so beautiful from a distance and was surprised when she took my flirting seriously. I didn't expect to bang her but I thought it was nice to keep telling her she was pretty. I was surprised to find myself at her place. She is very classy and comes from a great family. I don't think she had doinked a guy in at least 40 years because she was a big church goer for a while.

[akwilly]

Sunday was my chance to end it and make my move in googly eyed girl but because I went to older lady's house the other morning things went to hell

[akwilly]

Nothing good happens at a fundraiser that is held at the VFW. It's very smoky and nobody gets cut off by the bartender

[Walks_At_Night]

it is very hard to explain but basically I had sex with the older lady because she always looked so beautiful from a distance and was surprised when she took my flirting seriously. I didn't expect to bang her but I thought it was nice to keep telling her she was pretty. I was surprised to find myself at her place. She is very classy and comes from a great family. I don't think she had doinked a guy in at least 40 years because she was a big church goer for a while.

Ok. So not a money thing.  I think I get it.  You didn't do enough research before putting sour cream in the burrito and now you
are stuck as she won't leave you alone.    That explains the gift basket and is a typical response.

So mistake number one was not doing some investigation. You *have* to do that when prowling on your home turf bud.  She may look great from a distance but you gotta check stuff out thoroughly before moving in. I don't care if its last call or what - when at home do your research. Different rules apply on the road obviously.

So after the initial tryst, one can assume she has become a 'clinger' - sending you the basket, being sweet and pretty much cramping your style but in a sugar coated way, correct? 

[Walks_At_Night]

Stay with me here - I'd like to help but need to be certain of the situation.   I am going with assumption that she is not
super wealthy and that ain't your angle.   

[akwilly]

That's how it was and I feared hurting her feelings. I was sure the next time we did it she was going to say she loved me. When I showed up at her place after misreading her text reply and jaz's bad advice I was stuck there and she didn't seem so happy to see me. Her place is awesome and her bed is very comfy so I said some things to her that I didn't mean so I could take a nap there. I tried to backtrack on my kind words but that just made it worse. She saw me for what I was and now she has the power.

[akwilly]

Stay with me here - I'd like to help but need to be certain of the situation.   I am going with assumption that she is not
super wealthy and that ain't your angle.

she owns a very successful business but no I'm not after money. If she wants to put me in her will that would be cool but I just appreciate all her food and her hot tub and her sauna and her rarely used bar

[akwilly]

I can deal with her pecking at me like a chicken when we kiss but her uncurly pubes are freakin me out. They are straight like the back of my hair when I had a mullet

[akwilly]

It is also weird that her whole body, I'm mean everything smells like wine if she has one glass

[Walks_At_Night]

That's how it was and I feared hurting her feelings. I was sure the next time we did it she was going to say she loved me. When I showed up at her place after misreading her text reply and jaz's bad advice I was stuck there and she didn't seem so happy to see me. Her place is awesome and her bed is very comfy so I said some things to her that I didn't mean so I could take a nap there. I tried to backtrack on my kind words but that just made it worse. She saw me for what I was and now she has the power.

Ok.  Not after coin (nothing wrong with that BTW as long as both parties no the deal).    You didn't put the ground work in up front and got
caught up.  Mistake #1.    Then you allowed things to move on and took the easy road out for fear of upsetting her.   You are a good dude
at heart and that is understandable but that was Mistake #2.  Then you listened to Jaz which was Mistake #3.  With a younger lady his advice might have worked.  The showing up at 4AM as a drunken disaster would have worked with a 25 yer old lady.  She would have just dumped your ass then and there.   No way it works with even a 45 year old or older.   Quite frankly her opportunities are more limited at that age in general and her 'Mommy' instincts are going to kick in and she will try and 'fix' you.  Instead of throwing your drunk ass in the street.

All foreseeable - I just don't think Jazz has enough experience to have helped you properly.

Ok - so the old bird has got you know.  She'll continue to try and set the hook deeper as you are seeing now.

[Walks_At_Night]

she owns a very successful business but no I'm not after money. If she wants to put me in her will that would be cool but I just appreciate all her food and her hot tub and her sauna and her rarely used bar

Ok - So is the real question is this.  Is the food, Sauna and stuff worth it to you?      It wouldn't be for me but then again I
have my choice of toilets to poop in.  I'm not crapping in a box.   Someday you'll get septic field put in but it ain't there now
so it is understandable.

If the nice environment is enough then ride that wave.  Just understand that as time goes on she'll boss you around more and more.
You have just seen a glimpse of the future now with this VFW thing.  Also realize the longer it goes on the harder it will be to get out.

[akwilly]

All good advice but I had harsh words for her tonight. I think she got her feelings hurt which made me somewhat happy. If I can keep her emotionaly involved then I can still get gift baskets and great food. She knows that I will be moving north shortly. It just sucks trying to juggle her and my true feelings for the other girl.

[akwilly]

Ok - So is the real question is this.  Is the food, Sauna and stuff worth it to you?      It wouldn't be for me but then again I
have my choice of toilets to poop in.  I'm not crapping in a box.   Someday you'll get septic field put in but it ain't there now
so it is understandable.

If the nice environment is enough then ride that wave.  Just understand that as time goes on she'll boss you around more and more.
You have just seen a glimpse of the future now with this VFW thing.  Also realize the longer it goes on the harder it will be to get out.

I can't even describe her bathroom. It is freaking huge. There is a small couch in there and also 2 sinks. There are also uncovered lightbulbs like you would see in a Broadway actors dressing room

[Walks_At_Night]

You were worried about hurting her if you broke it off after that first time.   Oh she might have made a little
uncomfortable on you but at her age she has had plenty of life experience.  She wouldn't have been too
broken up after having a nice night with a dude half [or less] her age.  What could she reasonably expect?

However if you keep this up, you will hurt her.  So think things over.  If it was me I'd sincerely thank her and
then break it off.  The typing is easier than the doing so to speak but that is where I'm at.   Mrs Walks and I are about
6 months apart in age.  I really don't know how relationships with huge age differences can work long term.  What do
you talk about?   

Seems like now you are looking for fun and not looking for a Mrs. Willy and making little Wily's.  Again nothing wrong
with that at all - as long as you don't mislead the ladies and they know the deal.   You have had your fun at this
point. 

I'm late for work but hoped I helped - at least a little.

Good luck man.

[akwilly]

You were worried about hurting her if you broke it off after that first time.   Oh she might have made a little
uncomfortable on you but at her age she has had plenty of life experience.  She wouldn't have been too
broken up after having a nice night with a dude half [or less] her age.  What could she reasonably expect?

However if you keep this up, you will hurt her.  So think things over.  If it was me I'd sincerely thank her and
then break it off.  The typing is easier than the doing so to speak but that is where I'm at.   Mrs Walks and I are about
6 months apart in age.  I really don't know how relationships with huge age differences can work long term.  What do
you talk about?   

Seems like now you are looking for fun and not looking for a Mrs. Willy and making little Wily's.  Again nothing wrong
with that at all - as long as you don't mislead the ladies and they know the deal.   You have had your fun at this
point. 

I'm late for work but hoped I helped - at least a little.

Good luck man.

after you suggested the iguana I take every bit of your advise like it is written in stone. You have great insight and I appreciate it. I truly do and have a great day

[Walks_At_Night]

All good advice but I had harsh words for her tonight. I think she got her feelings hurt which made me somewhat happy. If I can keep her emotionaly involved then I can still get gift baskets and great food. She knows that I will be moving north shortly. It just sucks trying to juggle her and my true feelings for the other girl.

Aaah.   I was typing the response above when I saw this.   If that is the play you might want to see what some of the other guys
on the board say.  I was an Eagle Scout.  Still am I guess............ 

[akwilly]

Aaah.   I was typing the response above when I saw this.   If that is the play you might want to see what some of the other guys
on the board say.  I was an Eagle Scout.  Still am I guess............

I think we typed at the same time. I truly appreciate your input and hope Jaz can get on American time for both our convince for his next jazcast.

[Walks_At_Night]

So I would say just make sure she knows the deal.  You are not there long term and wil be moving on soon.
Once you move it is over - forever. You enjoy her company and her place and you can havle some fun together
in the meantime.  However you won't tolerate interference or control.  Be very honest and see what she says.
She'll either accept it [I expect she will] or she'll boot your ass.   

Just don't tell you love her and if she says that to you, correct it on the spot.  Not an easy thing to do but you have
to remind her of the situation.


Now I am off to work for real.   Hang in there

[K_Dubb]

So I would say just make sure she knows the deal.  You are not there long term and wil be moving on soon.
Once you move it is over - forever. You enjoy her company and her place and you can havle some fun together
in the meantime.  However you won't tolerate interference or control.  Be very honest and see what she says.
She'll either accept it [I expect she will] or she'll boot your ass.   

Just don't tell you love her and if she says that to you, correct it on the spot.  Not an easy thing to do but you have
to remind her of the situation.


Now I am off to work for real.   Hang in there

Walks, your advice is fundamentally sound but I question your method.  You have a married man's faith in open communication and clarity when what is needed here is mystery.

No self-respecting church-going lady is going to agree to the bald terms you propose -- they are humiliating.  Even if she accepts out of desperation, she will exact her end of the bargain with a ruthless determination that will make poor willy miserable.

If we are to keep willy in proper plumbing (though I fear for his Art), we must introduce a little gentle gamesmanship, viz. translate all the things you want him to say into actions instead. Invent a commitment that might just be a date when she calls, but greet her enthusiastically when he sees her next.  When she says I love you, say nothing but kiss her again passionately.  Where she is controlling, be sweet but leave early.  The only word necessary is "ouch" when the stabby tongue comes out; I promise it will go away.

The Eagle Scout recoils at this blatant dishonesty, but I guarantee if willy puts these things in words she will not believe him anyway -- women must believe in their seductive powers to breathe.  When she feels his resistance in deeds, though, he will be speaking directly to her heart, and women are far more fluent in that language than we are ("my head said yes, but my heart said no").  A few minor schedule conflicts will put her back in her place, and the effect will be far more gentle and humane on all concerned.

[BobGrau]

she owns a very successful business but no I'm not after money. If she wants to put me in her will that would be cool but I just appreciate all her food and her hot tub and her sauna and her rarely used bar

I'm trying to backtrack these as euphemisms but the last one has me stumped.

[whoozit]

My threesome idea was a thing of beauty Willy.  It was a no lose scenario.  I've never had a situation like that land in my lap.  Right now you are dead to me. 

[jazmunda]

I'd just like to clarify that what Willy actually did was ignore my advice. The best advice is to show these women the poo boxes on the first date to avoid awkward silences later.

[Lilith]

I'd just like to clarify that what Willy actually did was ignore my advice. The best advice is to show these women the poo boxes on the first date to avoid awkward silences later.

I didn't hear the program that morning, but sounds like excellent advice to me. 

[BobGrau]

I'd just like to clarify that what Willy actually did was ignore my advice. The best advice is to show these women the poo boxes on the first date to avoid awkward silences later.

Yeeeah... you're Australian though.

[jazmunda]

Yeeeah... you're Australian though.

We don't box our poo as if we're ashamed of it. We're proud of our feces.