Midnight In The Desert

[SredniVashtar]

I'm kinda bewildered by the tenor around here at this point

Me too! I thought he was here with you, but apparently MV pays him to fuck around and piss us all off.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VATmgtmR5o4

[ziznak]

....and I was kinda worried with all the crap I've read since the picture.   I hadn't seen it until now.  I find her attractive.  I was expecting... i dunno something else.  She doesn't have a "radio face" tho... and to open herself up to some of the talented photosloppers and gif ranglers here.  She's a brave laydeeee and I'll drink to that.

[SredniVashtar]

A girl in the desert named Heather
Spent weeks and weeks questioning whether
To drop anonymity
By setting her image free
In hopes that her fans came together.

I felt the room needed cleansing after that effort. Normally I only write smutty ones, but this will have to do. My sensitive nature went quite faint after that previous attempt at versifying, so apologies if it isn't up to snuff, but this will have to do for the time being.

A girl in the desert named Heather
Used to tickle old men with a feather
We know she got the part
'Cos her dad is called 'Art'
'though she's dull as the wet Wednesday weather

[BellBoy]

I felt the room needed cleansing after that effort. Normally I only write smutty ones, but this will have to do. My sensitive nature went quite faint after that previous attempt at versifying, so apologies if it isn't up to snuff, but this will have to do for the time being.

A girl in the desert named Heather
Used to tickle old men with a feather
We know she got the part
'Cos her dad is called 'Art'
'though she's dull as the wet Wednesday weather

heh heh

[theONE]

Puppy, Monkey, Baby! Puppy, Monkey, Baby!!#

Sir JJ ,with all the respect to You Sir,

I'm not sure what you mean by this: "Puppy, Monkey, Baby! Puppy, Monkey, Baby!!"
but only Heather knows that, she was the one who rattled "Bateman's cage" according to her
admission on GabCast few weeks ago.
It was very ugly and very low class act on her behalf - [many here confirm that]...
...I'm innocent here;)

[K_Dubb]

I felt the room needed cleansing after that effort. Normally I only write smutty ones, but this will have to do. My sensitive nature went quite faint after that previous attempt at versifying, so apologies if it isn't up to snuff, but this will have to do for the time being.

A girl in the desert named Heather
Used to tickle old men with a feather
We know she got the part
'Cos her dad is called 'Art'
'though she's dull as the wet Wednesday weather

Bravo, and thank you!  Nice alliteration in the last line, too.  But the first line should start with an anapest.

[theONE]

I felt the room needed cleansing after that effort. Normally I only write smutty ones, but this will have to do. My sensitive nature went quite faint after that previous attempt at versifying, so apologies if it isn't up to snuff, but this will have to do for the time being.

A girl in the desert named Heather
Used to tickle old men with a feather
We know she got the part
'Cos her dad is called 'Art'
'though she's dull as the wet Wednesday weather

but who give her that feather ?
I like to know
my big suspicion it was...White Crow
he always says here,.../like the unchangeable weather/
"This is White Crow, and I adore Heather"

[SredniVashtar]

A girl in the desert named 'Wade'
Had some trouble in making the grade
Used to be a phone whore
Now her ratings are poor
And her paycheck is somewhat delayed

[theONE]

A girl in the desert named 'Wade'
Had some trouble in making the grade
Used to be a phone whore
Now her ratings are poor
And her paycheck is somewhat delayed

don't you worry
she will go back to her previous glory
when she get's used-up by the great Art
she will go back to perform her phone sex part

[Mind Flayer Monk]

A girl in the desert named 'Wade'
Had some trouble in making the grade
Used to be a phone whore
Now her ratings are poor
And her paycheck is somewhat delayed

If ye was listening,
I'd give ye a pass,
But complain bout a show ye don't listen to
is called talkin out yer arse

[K_Dubb]

A girl in the desert named 'Wade'
Had some trouble in making the grade
Used to be a phone whore
Now her ratings are poor
And her paycheck is somewhat delayed

I listened last night to the show.
(The past couple weeks I've thought "no".)
She has a new sponsor!
It proves someone wants her!
Now all of you critics can go.

[theONE]

A girl in the desert named 'Wade'
Had some trouble in making the grade
Used to be a phone whore
Now her ratings are poor
And her paycheck is somewhat delayed

She will be known through the ages
as the great phone whore
who liked to rattle other's people cages

[BellBoy]

....and I was kinda worried with all the crap I've read since the picture.   I hadn't seen it until now.  I find her attractive.  I was expecting... i dunno something else.  She doesn't have a "radio face" tho... and to open herself up to some of the talented photosloppers and gif ranglers here.  She's a brave laydeeee and I'll drink to that.

I thought it was wonderful that the great malachi.martini took the time to highlight Heather's fantastic bone structure. She was obviously quite blessed in life's genetic lottery.

[theONE]

I thought it was wonderful that the great malachi.martini took the time to highlight Heather's fantastic bone structure. She was obviously quite blessed in life's genetic lottery.

....the great faces of "wild horses"

[GuerrillaUnReal]

You know what's funny is Heather is essentially the same thing as Falkie. Old person on disability in section eight house who's a grifter. Yet since she managed to work a 70-year old man into fucking his life up, that's somehow better than a man with rat piss soaked cushions who's provided us hours of entertainment.

[theONE]

You know what's funny is Heather is essentially the same thing as Falkie. Old person on disability in section eight house who's a grifter. Yet since she managed to work a 70-year old man into fucking his life up, that's somehow better than a man with rat piss soaked cushions who's provided us hours of entertainment.

but did Falkie rattled our....cages ?? 

[BellBoy]

You know what's funny is Heather is essentially the same thing as Falkie. Old person on disability in section eight house who's a grifter. Yet since she managed to work a 70-year old man into fucking his life up, that's somehow better than a man with rat piss soaked cushions who's provided us hours of entertainment.

One day those rat piss soaked cushions will be sitting in the YouTube Broadcasters Hall of Fame. Then we'll see who's laughing, Boy-o.

[SredniVashtar]

A girl in the desert named Heather
Used to tell me she's 'all dressed in leather'
As we talked on the phone
I'd be rubbing my bone
And pretending that we were together

[GuerrillaUnReal]

One day those rat piss soaked cushions will be sitting in the YouTube Broadcasters Hall of Fame. Then we'll see who's laughing, Boy-o.

I was never the biggest Falkie thread fan. I didn't contribute much there. But there is a sense of missing something in my life now that he's gone. Falkie is the hero we want, not the hero we deserve. 

[SredniVashtar]

You know what's funny is Heather is essentially the same thing as Falkie. Old person on disability in section eight house who's a grifter. Yet since she managed to work a 70-year old man into fucking his life up, that's somehow better than a man with rat piss soaked cushions who's provided us hours of entertainment.

The plush toys were soaked in rat piss, not the cushions, so your comparison is invalid. Unless Art's trailer is stuffed with them too.

[GuerrillaUnReal]

The plush toys were soaked in rat piss, not the cushions, so your comparison is invalid. Unless Art's trailer is stuffed with them too.

Are you sure about that? I distinctly remember him talking about rat piss soaked cushions and him talking about scrubbing a couch. It made such a distinct impression on me because that is the grossest thing I've ever read on here aside from Art launching his Heather bullshit on us.

[theONE]

A girl in the desert named Heather
Used to tell me she's 'all dressed in leather'
As we talked on the phone
I'd be rubbing my bone
And pretending that we were together

when you were just about "to finish"
and make a "big boom"
Art entered the room,...with a...broom
and said, who's here is f-king around with my girl
I'm her's only legit groom

[BellBoy]

A girl in the desert named Heather
Used to tell me she's 'all dressed in leather'
As we talked on the phone
I'd be rubbing my bone
And pretending that we were together

Please, continue!

[K_Dubb]

The ad that aspires to the plane
Of Lumens and Chaga and Crane
(as well as the potty
you take in a squatty)
Was herbs for your menstrual pain.

[SredniVashtar]

Are you sure about that? I distinctly remember him talking about rat piss soaked cushions and him talking about scrubbing a couch. It made such a distinct impression on me because that is the grossest thing I've ever read on here aside from Art launching his Heather bullshit on us.

You could be right. Maybe the plushies were on the cushions and it all seeped through. The Falkie thread is a tale of bottomless sordor and after a while you start to become used to it, if not infected.

[theONE]

Please, continue!

Right now Art is frantically reading trough his LAW books
...suing peolpe is Art's ....forte

[SredniVashtar]

Heather's landed herself this new job
That does NOT involve gobbling knob
Though on air she still sucks
Art is paying big bucks
While the listener takes loads in the gob

[GuerrillaUnReal]

There once was a man in the desert
Met a woman on a forum who's talent was inert
He forced her on his crew
Despite all the other choices she was unequal to
And her having never before done a telephone interview

But the crew thought she was a shrew
There was much ballyhoo
So he threatened to sue
now the whole thing is cuckoo

maybe it's a scam involving internal revenue?
But talking about them fucking is taboo
While he claims he might come back after a security review

[K_Dubb]

Heather's landed herself this new job
That does NOT involve gobbling knob
Though on air she still sucks
Art is paying big bucks
While the listener takes loads in the gob

The lim'rick, though kind of archaic,
Needs thoughts that are far from prosaic.
Though a scholarly toff,
Your whole meter is off
And your rhyming is too formulaic.

(Actually, I appreciate your efforts!)

[theONE]

I've heard vigorous sounds of clacking
wondering what was that.... it was so disgusting
and I heard voice of Heather on the phone
and on the other line were old lonely man,... frantically "cock wacking"