Art Bell

[chefist]

i think he's just having a little fun and quoting trump.

Maybe...but Trump didn't quite a campaign and then tried to start it up again...

[Showroom Dummy]

Art. please.. stop responding to the negative...your biggest complaint on BellGab is you don't respond to the positive...I know you have said you don't like ass kissers...but honestly, ass kissers pay our bills! Please don't alienate your fans!

You don't have a business manager...thats ok..but please sir...you need a sounding board to bounce your responses off of...!

thats right no ass kissing here     

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uw815l67SLA

[SciFiAuthor]

Maybe...but Trump didn't quite a campaign and then tried to start it up again...

Didn't Ross Perot do that?

[dan7800]

On a side note, I'd still like Art to sell personalized autographed photos for charity to his fans. I'd love to have something like this and would gladly donate to a worthwhile charity.

[GravitySucks]

Maybe...but Trump didn't quite a campaign and then tried to start it up again...

That was Ross Perot

[Imconfused]

If you were a soundboard for Art, I'd ask:

You mad bro?

yep,  that's our Mr. Fidget.

He fidgets,  you know..........

[Imconfused]

MV loves it when you fluff him and cup his balls

I'd rather cup MV's balls then read your fluff.

[Imconfused]

You sir are very low energy and frankly a lightweight, not even worthy of the handle confused troll.

Art

Madam,  why are you replying to my post then? 

I hit the nail?

[ItsOver]

Art, just ignore the negative nancys. Who spends time at a fan site when they dislike the person the site is largely devoted to?

I hate the Patriots, so why would I spend all day on a site devoted to Tom Brady?

Sir, there is nothing better than trolling Tom Brady.

[Lt.Uhura]

Art,
Don't know if you've seen this, but here's your friend Neil deGrasse Tyson answering the"flat Earth" crowd, lol!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHBZkek8OSU

[Mind Flayer Monk]

Art, what do you know about the former Secret Police of Ferdinand Marcos living in southern Nevada?

[PB the Deplorable]

I honestly can not say what my path is for air work. The first consideration is security...

And the second is when can I quit

[PB the Deplorable]

... I can see myself doing a day or two a Week IF we feel secure about it.

Why didn't you do that in the first place?

[Imconfused]

And the second is when can I quit

Why didn't you do that in the first place?

ahahahaha

I got nothing else.

Paper*Boy RULES!!

[Mr. Fidget]

Madam,  why are you replying to my post then? 

I hit the nail?

Because he does not have the testicular fortitude to reply to mine, apparently.

[SciFiAuthor]

Art,
Don't know if you've seen this, but here's your friend Neil deGrasse Tyson answering the"flat Earth" crowd, lol!!

Poor NdGT, he's been running around for months dismissing the KIC 8462852 "alien megastructure" phenomenon as being unequivocally caused by comets. Turns out, it's not comets.

http://www.attn.com/stories/5242/astronomers-theory-star-kic

[Imconfused]

Because he does not have the testicular fortitude to reply to mine, apparently.

ha!  Are you on the black list too?

[ItsOver]

Why didn't you do that in the first place?

Uh, because we can't all be Dr. Strangelove?

http://youtu.be/j83bGaauRXw

[littlechris]

Art,
Don't know if you've seen this, but here's your friend Neil deGrasse Tyson answering the"flat Earth" crowd, lol!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHBZkek8OSU

Wow, the guy looks like a fucking wet mattress.

[creepygreenlight]

Why is this person not in jail?

The State Department announced Friday that it will not release 22 emails from former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton because they contain "top secret" information

http://www.cnn.com/2016/01/29/politics/state-department-to-release-clinton-emails/index.html

[trostol]

if Art was/is an alien..what sort is he?

[Imconfused]

Why is this person not in jail?

The State Department announced Friday that it will not release 22 emails from former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton because they contain "top secret" information

http://www.cnn.com/2016/01/29/politics/state-department-to-release-clinton-emails/index.html

take this to politics thread

[ItsOver]

Why is this person not in jail?

The State Department announced Friday that it will not release 22 emails from former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton because they contain "top secret" information

http://www.cnn.com/2016/01/29/politics/state-department-to-release-clinton-emails/index.html

At least it makes for a good joke.
http://youtu.be/DPmZ4g1dC64

[albrecht]

Okay, per the previous discussion, I'm looking at this photo. No way anyone can tell me to just cook this well and eat it. I don't care how natural or common this is, Albrecht, not going to happen.

Ha. Nature aint pretty and humans are making it less so. The more deadly stuff in our food, and fish, is "stuff" that you aren't able to see. If you google (or startpage etc) it you will see that, for the most part, fish parasites etc aren't a problem when cooked. But you can remove them if needed. Like most things you don't want to see where your food comes from, how it is processed, and the lack of oversight from governments/businesses in terms of 'checking' for stuff. Shut up and be happy. We have cheap food.

[Imconfused]

Ha. Nature aint pretty and humans are making it less so. The more deadly stuff in our food, and fish, is "stuff" that you aren't able to see. If you google (or startpage etc) it you will see that, for the most part, fish parasites etc aren't a problem when cooked. But you can remove them if needed. Like most things you don't want to see where your food comes from, how it is processed, and the lack of oversight from governments/businesses in terms of 'checking' for stuff. Shut up and be happy. We have cheap food.

I miss Falkie.

[creepygreenlight]

take this to politics thread

Im confused

[FightTheFuture]

I can see myself doing a day or two a Week IF we feel secure about it.

Exactly what I have been advising you to do for the last three years. Finally. It's a perfect fit, Art. Give us one or two good days a week and I think everybody walks away happy.

[GuerrillaUnReal]

Since I'm pretty good at wrestling booking, let me attempt this.

These are all of the top of my head. I know there's a bunch I'm probably missing and I haven't listened to every minute of everyones' shit but for your reading pleasure I present you with...

Top 10 Hilarious/Amazing Balls DMDN/BellGab/Bell Universe Moments

1. The First Otherside of Midnight - For the first few weeks of Hoagland's show there was just amazing technical fuck up after technical fuck up. His first episode eclipsed them all though with repeated failures, frustrated Hollywood Hoags and 20 minutes of odd trans music as Hoags couldn't figure out how to reboot his computer. Every once in awhile Keith would pop on with a "Well... um... looks like we'll be waiting a few more moments for Richard Hoagland to restart his computer..."

What makes it even stranger is Hoagland had a flawless five hour test show a week or two before this where he was obsessed with Pluto or some shit that was pretty good for space woo. Yet everything after it was a calamity for awhile. But just for the sheer epicness of it, the beauty of the moment and how long it was. It takes my first place.

2. Michael Horn calls the GabCast - In one of the most brilliant calls I've ever heard "Michael Horn" calls the GabCast and spends several minutes berating MV and BellGab. It was so funny my words aren't even needed to describe it.

3. Will Massa Art Sell Us Tomorrow? - Holy fuck, it's too bad Art got upset with /x/ as for a few weeks, that was the funniest goddamn place on the internet as gangs of bored computer nerd MITD trolls got together and unleashed the magic. The absolute apex of this was the Will Massa Art Sell Us Tomorrow? negro spiritual that has caught on as the funniest meme in my opinion in the Bell Universe. The whole episode was almost as good as the first OSM just for the insanity of it all.

4. Why doesn't Hoagland just unplug that phone? - Every night for the first several weeks a "mysterious" caller would call Hoagland's line resulting in his phone ringing and completely disrupting his monologue. It totally threw Hoagie for his first several monologues until he tried to turn it into a gag and it lost it's charm. This gimmick combined with his amazing theme (it broke my heart to learn he stole it) and odd technical glitches hooked a lot of listeners in the early going.

5. I was just rattling your cage! - BellGab is at it's finest when it's replicating a Texas Deathmatch from the 1970s. After weeks of rumor and criticism, the shit finally hit the fan when a he said she said spat spilled over onto the air on the last GabCast. One party had a list of criticisms and frustrations, the other claimed it was all a joke bro. The one thing everyone wants to see whether they want to admit it or not is a good fight and we got a doozy with a number of memorable lines and memes with the (redacted) vs. bateman cage match. Bonus points for KOK trying to call in and troll at the beginning but the student is not a master yet.

6. "Are we on the air?" - Bella-Haven was a great idea and a good show that had a lot of good moments. It was at it's best and most awesome as a run-up platform in the days preceding Art returning to the air. However the first fallout/explosion/blowup/drama bomb after Art's return was this show blowing up. There was so much drama in the LBC with these ladies that MV had one of the hosts on the GabCast where she let all of her emotions and feelings out. She let a secret about her co-host out while talking with MV without realizing they were on air and had several dozen people in the chat listening. Epicness followed awkwardness and a passive aggressive fight worthy of the zenith of the Stern Show broke out when the co-host got on the air.

7. Charlie From Thailand - I'm not sure if this deserves a spot in the top ten but since it spawned it's own meme for awhile and it was arguably one of the most distinct calls in MITD, I'll give a place on the first. On Art's test show (I believe) an expat currently in Thailand calls in and describes odd sexual practices climaxing with ejaculating into one's own bladder to which a stunned Art moved on to the next call rather gracefully.

8. Art as a guest interviewing another guest on a show he just quit not 24 hours before - In the chaos after Art quits, the entire show breaks down about 30-45 minutes in with new host Heather taking the reigns with some time traveler guy. In the chaos that ensues Art begins interviewing the original guest on his show which he had quit just hours before. The clusterfuckery lols that came from it earn this a place on the list.

9. Bill Nye talking to Hoagland - I believe this was on Hollywood's test show on Pluto and he randomly had a roving reporter at NASA for some big deal space thing. Bill Nye was at NASA when some big event occurred to which someone handed Nye a phone and on the other end end of it was Richard F'n Hoagland on a live broadcast. The hilarity of Hoagland trying to alpha up on Nye who at first had no idea who he was talking with then tried to get off as quickly as possible when he realized it was Hoagland was one of the funniest early moment of the show.

10. Falkie attempts to call into the GabCast - It's short but it's one of the first thing to pop into my mind. Falkie attempts to call into the GabCast during one of the times he had heat on the forum. Before he even gets on the air (I believe) someone says something dickish about him and he goes "Ahhhhh forget it" and hands up.

HM: The Falkie/Casio wrestling promo.

[Imconfused]

Im confused

I feel a negative connotation here.   I'm not sure why.  Maybe I'm a pessimist. 

[Mr. Fidget]

If I were a soundboard for Art Bell, what would you ask?

For the record, your "Art Bell" impression is spot on.

See nothing, say nothing.