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Worst come on lines EVER!.. ?

Started by ksm32, March 07, 2012, 01:59:20 AM

ksm32

This one does NOT WORK! but it's very fun to say.


"You had me at Fuck Off".

Eddie Coyle

 
         It's a bad come on line but it worked.

          In my former life as a postal worker I'd asked a co-worker "so what the hell did you do wrong to end up here with us?"  She laughed and didn't run away screaming(at that point)

         We ended up going out for 11 months before she realized I was non compos mentis and probably not what she wanted as a father to her future kids(her biological clock was ticking-she was 27, I was 23)

Frys Girl

anything that implies we should have sex, that we should have babies, that i was made for you and vice versa.


Just say hi! Just say you look nice. Say stuff like "Nice hat! You're a redskins fan." Or say...... "nice shoes!"


I didn't know it was so easy to mess up something so simple.

BobGrau

Quote from: Frys Girl on March 07, 2012, 06:30:54 AM



Or say...... "nice shoes!"



at which point you know for sure he's gay  ;D

Frys Girl

Quote from: BobGrau on March 07, 2012, 07:36:53 AM
at which point you know for sure he's gay  ;D
Ok it depends.... I see what you mean though. I just mean that it doesn't require some poetry. Just common sense and kindness.


As to Eddie dating the older woman, you musta been/are good looking. I happen to think that most women don't like to date younger, unless it's really really good.

b_dubb

When's Alejandro going to share some of his wisdom with us?

Frys Girl

Quote from: b_dubb on March 07, 2012, 08:18:09 AM
When's Alejandro going to share some of his wisdom with us?
Actually, once Alex Jones gave pick up lines/ice breakers to his listeners. He was like "INFOWARRIORS should date! we should connect! Two is better than one." His first suggestion, of course, was to buy one his t-shirts so that the girl and guy could spot each other. "You think 9-11 was an inside job too?! Awesome!" Love connections rawr lol mega turn on.


I gotta hand it to Alex Jones. Unlike Idiot George Noory, he has turned his show into a lifestyle.

11angeleyes11

The worst one I have heard, it was at a UFO Conference:

"I am an alien, you are an attractive hybrid.  Can I beam you up and show you my mothership?"

From my observation point, the soul with this pick-up line was not successful and left alone. 

Marc.Knight

Quote from: 11angeleyes11 on March 07, 2012, 08:34:29 AM
The worst one I have heard, it was at a UFO Conference:

"I am an alien, you are an attractive hybrid.  Can I beam you up and show you my mothership?"

From my observation point, the soul with this pick-up line was not successful and left alone.

... an expert at the walk of shame.

Frys Girl

Quote from: 11angeleyes11 on March 07, 2012, 08:34:29 AM
The worst one I have heard, it was at a UFO Conference:

"I am an alien, you are an attractive hybrid.  Can I beam you up and show you my mothership?"

From my observation point, the soul with this pick-up line was not successful and left alone.
Made for The Big Bang Theory.

BobGrau

Quote from: Frys Girl on March 07, 2012, 07:50:12 AM
Ok it depends.... I see what you mean though. I just mean that it doesn't require some poetry. Just common sense and kindness.


Joking aside, you're totally right - if you're both into shoes, talk about shoes. Find some common ground.

Unfortunately, last time I found 'common ground' with a girl, we were both recovering substance abusers with the resulting personality defects.
Well, ok, she was recovering, I was just taking a break. THAT worked out well.

MV/Liberace!

"Hey, toots.  Let's fuck and then you can cook me come chili."

Eddie Coyle

Quote from: Frys Girl on March 07, 2012, 07:50:12 AM


As to Eddie dating the older woman, you musta been/are good looking. I happen to think that most women don't like to date younger, unless it's really really good.

           I seemed older than actually I was, which helped...and I was one of the youngest people in my workplace, which was full of "hook ups". Those overnight shifts can create a culture of infidelity from what I've seen/lived. 

Marc.Knight

Quote from: Michael Vandeven on March 07, 2012, 09:37:50 AM
"Hey, toots.  Let's fuck and then you can cook me come chili."

This would probably work in most cases today.  Niceties are seen more as a sign of weakness than cordiality. 

Eddie Coyle

Quote from: High Strangeness on March 07, 2012, 09:41:27 AM

This would probably work in most cases today.  Niceties are seen more as a sign of weakness than cordiality.

       Very true. The coarsening of the culture continues.

         I wish I was still 12, when I could(did) walk up to girls in my class and say "I'm gonna give you the goo"...how enticing.

Lovely Bones

Quote from: Frys Girl on March 07, 2012, 06:30:54 AM

Say stuff like "Nice hat! You're a redskins fan." Or say...... "nice shoes!"

"Nice dog!" has kept me around for the last 20 years or so. 

And he's, uh, much younger. 

Lovely Bones

Quote from: Eddie Coyle on March 07, 2012, 09:52:41 AM
       Very true. The coarsening of the culture continues.

         I wish I was still 12, when I could(did) walk up to girls in my class and say "I'm gonna give you the goo"...how enticing.

I like your post office line better.  I'd have fallen for that one.  Never could resist a guy with a great sense of humor. 

Eddie Coyle

Quote from: Lovely Bones on March 07, 2012, 09:57:35 AM
I like your post office line better.  I'd have fallen for that one.  Never could resist a guy with a great sense of humor.

       Yes, being self-effacing works for me far better than being an overaggressive mongoloid. I know my batting average as the latter was .000

McPhallus

"Nice shoes.  Wanna fuck?"

"You know what I like in a woman?  Me."

Marc.Knight

Quote from: McPhallus on March 07, 2012, 10:18:54 AM
"Nice shoes.  Wanna fuck?"

"You know what I like in a woman?  Me."

More sure-fired winners.  A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away I played "sunglasses at night" on the juke box in the local pub retardedly thinking that some of the finer women would think me romantic.  One of the nicer looking ones, disgusted, strutted over to the juke and played a song with the lovely, repeating lyrics: "lick my pussy".  It was then that I realized I was an old fish out of water and went home.

Frys Girl

Quote from: High Strangeness on March 07, 2012, 09:41:27 AM

This would probably work in most cases today.  Niceties are seen more as a sign of weakness than cordiality.
This Friday, I'm going out for a girlfriend's birthday party. We have rented a booze bus. I don't drink, but I still wanna truck along. I can't wait to report some lines..... well not really "can't wait," but I'll report some comedy if there is any..... usually it's just tragedy in these clubs.


"let's fuck then make me chili"??? Oh my gosh. I'd kill him. However, if someone called me toots that be funny.

stevesh

Quote from: 11angeleyes11 on March 07, 2012, 08:34:29 AM
The worst one I have heard, it was at a UFO Conference:

"I am an alien, you are an attractive hybrid.  Can I beam you up and show you my mothership?"

From my observation point, the soul with this pick-up line was not successful and left alone.

Was he a creepy looking guy with dyed black hair and a cheesy mustache ?

stevesh

Quote from: 11angeleyes11 on March 07, 2012, 08:34:29 AM
The worst one I have heard, it was at a UFO Conference:

"I am an alien, you are an attractive hybrid.  Can I beam you up and show you my mothership?"

From my observation point, the soul with this pick-up line was not successful and left alone.

Was he a creepy looking guy with dyed black hair and a cheesy mustache, wearing a leather jacket from the 1980's ?

McPhallus

"If I could be anything, I'd be your bath water."

MV/Liberace!

"What's this?  Did somebody spill some cottage cheese?  Oh, that's your ass."

  --Tony Clifton

ksm32

Quote from: Michael Vandeven on March 07, 2012, 09:37:50 AM
"Hey, toots.  Let's fuck and then you can cook me come chili."
CHILI ? my God man who could want chili after a conquest. Although you would restore all your carbs and "protiens".
I witnessed a big brawl in a pub because of this line regaurding a guys girlfriends ass "Nice Toilet". Mabye that go's with the chili thing.


Robert

Quote from: Eddie Coyle on March 07, 2012, 02:19:15 AMso what the hell did you do wrong to end up here with us?
You mean, in the sack?

What's a bad girl like you doing in a place like this?


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