George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[WOTR]

He was active in so many local charities and events... Even after he retired, he continued to help out in the community...

Now, lets not be unfair to Jorch in this department.  He did produce a CD so that he could sing on it this year and he will be giving a portion of the proceeds to a charity.


Also, he did promise that if he had how-ever-many tens of thousands of subscribers to his webcast that he would set up a fund to help his listeners.  As far as I know, he either never reached the number or he realized it was easier to keep the cash...  Either way, it's the thought that counts.


Up until a few years ago he also would solicit funds to help a charity that helped orphans and the starving in third world countries and try to get other people to sponsor a kid.  I assume that he realized that Caranova commercials paid him more and that humanitarian effort probably got shelved (I have not listened at all this year, but seem to recall that it has been several years since hearing these requests of support.) 


To be fair, he really did ask for people to sponsor a kid for a few years- too bad that infomercials and extra advertising revenue won out over starving orphans- but that's the way the cookie crumbles.  When you play in the big leagues, you cannot think about starving kids and remain the upbeat, giving individual that Jorch is.


Also, let's not forget his story of paying for the groceries of somebody behind him at the grocery store.  He truly is a great, generous, giving man.

[pyewacket]

Now, lets not be unfair to Jorch in this department.  He did produce a CD so that he could sing on it this year and he will be giving a portion of the proceeds to a charity.


Also, he did promise that if he had how-ever-many tens of thousands of subscribers to his webcast that he would set up a fund to help his listeners.  As far as I know, he either never reached the number or he realized it was easier to keep the cash...  Either way, it's the thought that counts.


Up until a few years ago he also would solicit funds to help a charity that helped orphans and the starving in third world countries and try to get other people to sponsor a kid.  I assume that he realized that Caranova commercials paid him more and that humanitarian effort probably got shelved (I have not listened at all this year, but seem to recall that it has been several years since hearing these requests of support.) 


To be fair, he really did ask for people to sponsor a kid for a few years- too bad that infomercials and extra advertising revenue won out over starving orphans- but that's the way the cookie crumbles.  When you play in the big leagues, you cannot think about starving kids and remain the upbeat, giving individual that Jorch is.


Also, let's not forget his story of paying for the groceries of somebody behind him at the grocery store.  He truly is a great, generous, giving man.

I do remember the sponsor a child effort but it's been years since I've heard anything like that on C2C- maybe I'm wrong. I'm sure someone here can set us straight about it.

I do remember the push for subscribers and didn't think much of the offer to help others IF and only IF enough people signed up. I don't trust these money drives when they don't disclose numbers. If they just are selling subscriptions- fine, they don't have to disclose the amount. If they are attaching a charitable program to it- damn right they need to report on that. I don't know if they are legally obligated to do so, but it looks more honest if they do.

Yes, the latest philanthropic effort and singing venue... exactly how much of each sale goes to the veterans? I haven't paid much attention to the CD. I've thrown out too many from my kids' fundraisers because they were so bad. If I want to give to a particular cause, I take it upon myself to find an organization that gives at least 90% to the cause. It's infuriating to find out how little money gets to the people who need it. So, without full disclosure...I'll pass. 

[Morgus]

Also, let's not forget his story of paying for the groceries of somebody behind him at the grocery store.  He truly is a great, generous, giving man.

I think that was Tommy's own story not Noory's. 

[PB the Deplorable]

... If I want to give to a particular cause, I take it upon myself to find an organization that gives at least 90% to the cause. It's infuriating to find out how little money gets to the people who need it...

I think the executives at that company - at least the top guy - made huge amounts of money in salary.  Not to mention all the money the ad campaign probably cost - they must have paid for a package deal because it played on quite a few different programs, for several months at a stretch.

I do remember the sponsor a child effort but it's been years since I've heard anything like that on C2C...

While the ad was running on Coast and other shows, George claimed he was sponsoring a child named Maritza.  No one's heard a thing about her since the ad campaign ended.  I think it was around the same time that Casey the Dog disappeared (George claimed he gave him away).  It's always struck me as odd the way George just stops talking about certain things.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

While the ad was running on Coast and other shows, George claimed he was sponsoring a child named Maritza.  No one's heard a thing about her since the ad campaign ended.  I think it was around the same time that Casey the Dog disappeared (George claimed he gave him away).  It's always struck me as odd the way George just stops talking about certain things.

I'm sure she was fine after George got bored of her and the money ran out.  Looking back on George's business ventures, marriages, and causes, it seems like C2C is about the only thing he's ever stuck with.  I guess it's one of the few things in life that required even less work than he anticipated.

[Major Ed Damien]

I think that was Tommy's own story not Noory's. 

I surprised there were any groceries left in the store after Tommy left it.

[Major Ed Damien]

I'm sure she was fine after George got bored of her and the money ran out.  Looking back on George's business ventures, marriages, and causes, it seems like C2C is about the only thing he's ever stuck with.  I guess it's one of the few things in life that required even less work than he anticipated.

Well, at least he's really good at computers.  I just discovered this yesterday and had to listen to it three times:


  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNsMW4n3z9Y

[pyewacket]

I think the executives at that company - at least the top guy - made huge amounts of money in salary.  Not to mention all the money the ad campaign probably cost - they must have paid for a package deal because it played on quite a few different programs, for several months at a stretch.




While the ad was running on Coast and other shows, George claimed he was sponsoring a child named Maritza.  No one's heard a thing about her since the ad campaign ended.  I think it was around the same time that Casey the Dog disappeared (George claimed he gave him away).  It's always struck me as odd the way George just stops talking about certain things.

There was a local charity scandal years ago that really upset the public. The charity used a telemarketer service to solicit donations over the phone, I got one such call. The TMer tried to tell me that I had already committed to a donation and that I was to mail it to them.. I told her I didn't and she then kinda threatened me- I don't want to mention the group who hired the TMers. I hung up and would never donate to that group. Long story short- it was reported on the news due to complaints and they disclosed that the TM company got over 90% of the money!!!! I guess the charity thought they could make it up in volume. Really put them in a bad light with the public.

That did seem like an aggressive campaign- I'll bet it did cost a bundle.

Now that you mentioned the child and the dog- it is a bit disturbing how they are dropped so abruptly. Most people have some attachment to the people and pets they have in their lives. They may talk about them less but it's kind of gradual. In the case of the dog - you'd think George would show some concern for his pet and it's well being. He introduced them to his audience and then it appears that he just discarded them. It's like they got "wished away to the cornfield".   

[Catsmile]

Dave is simple.
If it don't pay. it don't play. Period.

[Major Ed Damien]

Ending 7.

A drunken George walks up to the coffin and starts interviewing the dead guy in it.  "What's it like being dead?  When did you first start being dead?  What exactly drives your passion in there?  Hey, can you tell me if there's an afterlife?  I don't get the big bang theory.  Are you an angel yet?  Amazing how completely still you are.  That's bizzare.  Say, what's your favorite part about being dead?  Can we find your casket on Amazon?"

[WOTR]

I do remember the sponsor a child effort but it's been years since I've heard anything like that on C2C- maybe I'm wrong. I'm sure someone here can set us straight about it...

I'm really sorry if you thought that any part of my post was written to defend Jorch.  It should have been read with sarcasm as every last example is either long since given up (sponsor a child) or never happened ("if I reach 10 000 subscribers I will give back...")


The man is scum, and I would be willing to bet that to be mentioned on Coast the charity probably paid George.  One year, they did the math and realized that it was not worth paying George to be mentioned and suddenly the campaign ceased to exist (though I would be wrong... I'm cynical...)

[pyewacket]

I'm really sorry if you thought that any part of my post was written to defend Jorch.  It should have been read with sarcasm as every last example is either long since given up (sponsor a child) or never happened ("if I reach 10 000 subscribers I will give back...")


The man is scum, and I would be willing to bet that to be mentioned on Coast the charity probably paid George.  One year, they did the math and realized that it was not worth paying George to be mentioned and suddenly the campaign ceased to exist (though I would be wrong... I'm cynical...)

No worries- I caught the snark. 

I'm sure Coast isn't the only corporation that does this sort of promotion. I personally don't like this type of conditional approach and won't buy. If they have 2.5 million listeners- how many can or will buy? Apparently, not enough. 

[Dateline]

Ending 8

Noory walks up to the coffin.  He is sweating profusely and his event make-up is running.  A smidgen of tape can be seen on the side of his forehead, and a small strain of black dye runs down the side of his face.  "Incredible!!!!!!" he remarks.  He turns to face the audience and begins belting out Can't Help Falling In Love With You."  Into the fourth line he is pulled aside by the family, and is told this is a wake, not a meet and greet.  Knowing he has to sing another song, he sings "Down by the Sea."  Not a good choice, either, the guy drowned after running his motor cycle off of a pier.  Next, because of his voice, he is to give a eulogy or a few moments of sharing their friendship.  He pulls out his index cards and begins a panel discussion with the family.  It works!  So clever!  The word travels, and now Noory is in demand on the funeral circuit.  With no time for Coast, the hosting duties or divided between Jimmy Church and Connie Willis, both co-hosting each show.   

[ItsOver]

What would Noory do if he had to do a show with just him at bat?  No bail-out calls to Fanthorpe, no open lines, no playing footsie with Tommy.  Would he freeze-up in panic, croon, tell horrific personal experience tales?

[pyewacket]

What would Noory do if he had to do a show with just him at bat?  No bail-out calls to Fanthorpe, no open lines, no playing footsie with Tommy.  Would he freeze-up in panic, croon, tell horrific personal experience tales?

I've wondered this myself. I don't think he could do it. I've heard other talk radio hosts excel at this. Most have experiences, interests, and travels they can share. In all these years, I'm not sure what George does that isn't work related. What are his hobbies? Does he travel for enrichment or see a bit of the world? Yes, we've all heard the Mexico story, LA, Hawaii, Canada... they're mostly work related travel, right? George is too distant to be interesting.   

[ItsOver]

I've wondered this myself. I don't think he could do it. I've heard other talk radio hosts excel at this. Most have experiences, interests, and travels they can share. In all these years, I'm not sure what George does that isn't work related. What are his hobbies? Does he travel for enrichment or see a bit of the world? Yes, we've all heard the Mexico story, LA, Hawaii, Canada... they're mostly work related travel, right? George is too distant to be interesting.   

A number of radio show hosts pull this off on a daily basis, with Limbaugh being one, of course.  Noory can't even do the news.  You're right.  Noory is just an uncharismatic bore.  It is truly pityfull to suck at the only thing you do.

[Major Ed Damien]

Tonight's guest will "share uplifting stories of human courage and divine intervention during the Holocaust."

This should be a great new chance for Noory to shine moronic.

I can remember when Katherine Albrecht guest-hosted not long ago and made a joke about needing to use Zyklon-B on a mouse problem in her basement. 

Then there was a commercial and Katherine had to apologize profusely for her comedy.

[ItsOver]

Tonight's show should be worse than listening to Ted Baxter's dumb brother.  The one who hides in the basement so he can torture rats.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

A number of radio show hosts pull this off on a daily basis, with Limbaugh being one, of course.  Noory can't even do the news.  You're right.  Noory is just an uncharismatic bore.  It is truly pityfull to suck at the only thing you do.

I remember a caller who was about to begin hosting his own radio show, but he was nervous he wouldn't be able to fill the time if he had a guest cancel.  He asked George for advice.  George got all huffy, hung up on the caller, and went off on some extended soliloquy about how if you can't fill four hours of airtime there's no way you should be in radio.  He acted like a real dick to the caller who had just treated him like a
personal roll model.

I think at that point, although feeling George was incompetent, I had still thought he was a nice guy. That was probably around the time I started searching for George Noory sucks sites sites.

[Major Ed Damien]

It works!  So clever!   

Yes, it is.

[NoMoreNoory]

divine intervention during the Holocaust."

Shame about the lack of divine intervention before the holocaust, eh?

[Catsmile]

C2C sorely needs some divine intervention.
Maybe Dave can probe deeply, and figure out how to get some.

[West of the Rockies]

According to a Google search, Jorch only earns about $500K a year.

Certainly not chump change, but I would have figured it were much higher. He's the face of the show, for what it's worth.

He's the face of the show, alright... Which explains why it's on radio!

[pyewacket]

He's the face of the show, alright... Which explains why it's on radio!

Groucho Marx:

“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”   

[Major Ed Damien]

Shame about the lack of divine intervention before the holocaust, eh?

God's family obviously needs to do an intervention on him.

[WOTR]

God's family obviously needs to do an intervention on him.

I hate to be the one to point out that the holocaust was certainly not the first (nor even the worst) event to take place in history.  It is nice to have something modern to point at that we can all agree was caused by pure evil- but there are far better examples of atrocities throughout the world and history...

[Major Ed Damien]

Ending 9.

George walks up to the coffin and stares at the man inside for a long time.  A fly appears and lands on the deceased man's nose.  The fly begins to walk around on the end of the cadaver's nose, and an astonished George feels that a truly momentous event has occurred.  He searches his mind for an important statement to make in front of the other attendees.  George turns around and says, "That's one small step for a fly . . . one giant leap if he'd like to hop off now."

[Dateline]

Ending 10

Noory walks up to the coffin.  He looks down and is pissed.  He slams the lid slut.  Time for the pallbearers, all from the The Lou and they take the body away.  That night he is haunted at the cave.  Images of shadow people march around the cave and he broadcasts that nights show.  He is scared, and his teeth shake and he mumbles and stumbles words.   The ghost is that of Coasts gone bye.  In the television monitor he uses to communicate with Los Angeles a poltergeist appears, or one to  him.  It is Art Bell.  The ghost of Coast present.  That night he dreams of the coffin and future thoughts as he mind races of the ghost of future Coast.  It says, "Seven Months and counting."  He rolls over and hits the ground with a thud, but the dream is broken.  He cuts out the number seven that morning from a lottery ticket and carries it around for good luck.  He know he will need it.

[Major Ed Damien]

I hate to be the one to point out that the holocaust was certainly not the first (nor even the worst) event to take place in history.

Gee, did somebody here say it was? 

I mean -- other than one of the screwy little voices in your head -- did anybody here make such a statement? 

I'm grateful that you took it on your esteemed self, though, to do something you so obviously hate to do. 

And I hope you didn't have to expel too much of your hate on it.  We'd hate for you to run out -- or waste any.

[bateman]

According to a Google search, Jorch only earns about $500K a year.

Certainly not chump change, but I would have figured it were much higher. He's the face of the show, for what it's worth.

That makes a hell of a lot more sense than the $4 mil figure someone threw out a while back. $500k is way less than they'd have to pay anyone else who's on that many stations, which explains why they'll never dump him no matter how bad his shows are. Noory also knows he couldn't earn anywhere near that doing anything else, so he'll hang onto that job for dear life.